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I recently asked a reality-TV star about politics.

“I never thought I’d run for president … but if America wanted a bankrupt, second-rate reality star with bad makeup and hair, it could’ve been me!” Bianca Del Rio said. “I can’t watch the fuckery!”

Del Rio—best known for winning the sixth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race—will be concluding her current Blame It on Bianca tour on Friday, Nov. 23, in a show benefiting AAP-Food Samaritans at the Riviera Palm Springs. The show will mark the Coachella Valley debut for the New York-based “clown in a dress” (her words, not mine) and her unfiltered, occasionally controversial brand of comedy.

“I have never been to Palm Springs before,” she told me. In other words, she’s a virgin! (Well, in this one sense.)

Drag was a calling for her, said Del Rio (aka Roy Haylock).

“Without sounding insane, I have been doing drag for 23 years,” she said. “It wasn’t a choice. I started in New Orleans, and then (moved to) New York. Then a magical thing happened: I did RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

Not only did Del Rio “do” the show; she won the whole thing back in 2014.

“It shifted my entire life,” she said. “It’s been a whirlwind for the past five years now. I have traveled on six continents now. I’m still trying to book Antarctica.”

She has appeared in venues small and large … and they’re getting larger.

“I did three nights in London in a theater that holds 3,300 people on this tour, but next year, I have been bumped up to a large arena,” she said. “I will be the first drag queen to play the Wembley Arena. It will be absolutely insane!”

I asked Del Rio to elaborate on her earlier statement that drag was not a choice.

“It wasn’t a conscious choice. I don’t know anybody who consciously says, ‘I want to be a drag queen,’” she said. “Well, maybe nowadays because of shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race. In my day, even (members of the) gay community didn’t want to be drag queens. It was the land of misfits. I mean, we weren’t the butch guys; we weren’t the normal people. We were just a little group of outsiders. Everybody did either song or dance. It really became a showcase, so to speak. In those days, you had to either go to a bar or go underground for a drag show. It wasn’t celebrated. But when you’re an out-of-work actor, or things just aren’t going well, you do a drag show.

“I’ve always worked in theater and in costumes—that was my day job. … You never know if you’re going to be working. It all just reflected on what was happening in my life. I might be doing Mamma Mia! for eight years; then it closes, and then it’s back to drag shows every night. Then Drag Race happened, and it really shook things up for me.”

I asked if she had any advice for a young drag-queen-lette who was just starting out.

“Don’t do it—it’s a trap!” Del Rio said. “You will spend more money than you’ll ever make! It’s quite pricey to be a drag queen. You have to do it because you love it. You have to do it because you’re having a good time—and the minute you aren’t having a good time, then you need to stop. Truly.

“Because of shows such as Drag Race, that has really opened up everything for me. The flip side to it all is you can’t walk outside without a drag queen falling out of a tree. Anywhere! There is so much more to drag than what people see on TV.”

What can we expect to see in Bianca Del Rio’s show?

“Expect the unexpected. I hate everyone!” she said. “Seriously, it’s an honest opinion. I unleash the demons, and I talk about it. No one is safe!

“What really happens in the show depends on the audience. There’s a lot of material that I use in America that I have not used in the U.K. Other countries have their own issues, and they don’t give a shit about Trump. It depends; I cover everything from politics to Drag Race. I cover the experiences I’ve had, which comes to explain why I am the hateful mess that I am today. There’s also a portion of the show that is audience participation. … It’s always amazing the questions people will ask you, or the situations that they will put you in. … I’ve had people ask where I put my dick. The answer is: Under my wig.”

Del Rio explained that it’s really damned hard to be a drag queen on tour.

“I lost my luggage once,” she said. “It’s one of the biggest fears to any drag queen—because what is a drag queen without costumes? A man! It was a challenging moment, and I was in Wisconsin, of all places—not that they expect much glamour there anyway. So, not being known for glamour myself, I thought: What do I do? I just ran to the local Walmart, and I had to do a mini challenge! … So, of course, I told the airline not to forward my luggage to Wisconsin, because I was going to Washington, D.C., the next day. Of course, they forwarded it to Wisconsin, so I had no luggage in D.C. At least you can go shopping there!”

Bianca Del Rio will perform Blame It on Bianca! at 9 p.m., Friday, Nov. 23, at the Riviera Palm Springs Grand Ballroom, 1600 N. Indian Canyon Drive, in Palm Springs. Tickets are $45 to $199, and a portion of the proceeds will benefit AAP-Food Samaritans. For tickets or more information, visit blameitonbianca.brownpapertickets.com.

Published in Comedy

RuPaul’s Drag Race (Friday, March 24, VH1), season premiere: For Season 9, RuPaul’s Drag Race moves from niche network Logo to the slightly more mainstream VH1—what does this mean? That drag queens are now ready for ’Merican primetime? That our divided country needs fabulousness now more than ever? That VH1 could use some new programming unrelated to basketball, hip-hop and potluck dinners? Yes. Like a flashier, bitchier Project Runway, or a taller America’s Next Top Model, RuPaul’s Drag Race brings the D-R-A-M-A like nothing else on television, and deserves to be exposed—phrasing—to a wider audience (and if a few unsuspecting motorsports fans accidentally tune in, even better). On the educational side, I also now understand the phrases “Read to filth” and “She done already done had herses,” and hope to use them in a doctoral dissertation soon.

Bones (Tuesday, March 28, Fox), series finale: When it premiered in 2005, Bones had an interesting twist on the forensic procedural already beaten to death (ha!) by CSI: Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan (Emily Deschanel) was an atheist anthropologist who lived by science; her FBI partner, Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz), was a sturdy block of all-American wood who liked Jeebus and hockey. Together, along with some slick computer graphics, they solved murders. Then Fox went on to make 246 damned episodes so TNT could play incessant weekday reruns alongside Castle (fun sick-day game: “Is This Castle or Bones?”). Now, after 12 seasons, it’s finally canceled … or was that Castle?

Harlots (Wednesday, March 29, Hulu), series debut: The producers of Harlots, a drama about 18th-century London prostitutes, promise that the series will deliver just as much male nudity as female nudity … so … progress? Said producers are also all women, so, yes. Recent sex-worker shows, like the cheeky Secret Diary of a Call Girl and the chilly The Girlfriend Experience, were told from a single female perspective, but Harlots introduces several (including Samantha Morton, Lesley Manville, Eloise Smyth and Downton Abbey’s Jessica Brown Findlay), while also throwing in familial strife, professional rivalry and the everyday/night danger of 1700s England (not to mention impossibly elaborate wigs and corsets). The best whore-TV show since Sean Hannity.

Imaginary Mary (Wednesday, March 29, ABC), series debut: Since Dharma and Greg ended in 2002, Jenna Elfman has not been able to catch a break: She’s headlined four failed network sitcoms since then, and has also guested on several high-quality dramas and comedies (and Two and a Half Men). The obvious answer is to give Elfman a supporting role in a cool cable series—she would kill it in something like Better Call Saul or Fargo, literally—but no, here she is in another throwaway midseason crapcom. In Imaginary Mary, she’s a career woman in PR (because that’s the only job for the ladies on TV) who’s love life is a mess (of course), and she has an imaginary, animated friend (voiced by Rachel Dratch). Time for a Dharma and Greg reboot, Netflix.

NCAA Basketball (Through April 1, CBS, TBS, TNT, TruTV), March madness: I filled out my brackets—when do I collect my sportsball winnings? After years of ignoring the inevitable office-wide emails about “March Madness!” I picked teams based upon color theme (UNC Wilmington has a particularly pleasing palette) and wacky-name factor (Villanova is close enough to “villain” + “nova,” while Golden Gophers and Gonzaga are self-explanatory). When someone reminded me that this is college sportsball, I then factored in each school’s academic rankings and … JK! This ain’t about grades—it’s about getting paid. Speaking of which, when again do I cash in? These columns barely cover beer runs.

Published in TV