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Last updateTue, 18 Sep 2018 1pm

Did you miss Dryuary, the annual self-imposed month of abstaining from alcohol? Yeah, me too.

Entering the New Year sober is an admirable, if misguided, practice. February, aka Sobruary (I am still workshopping a “sober” title), is a far better month in which to eschew the booze. For one, it’s shorter; secondly, it’s not as long. Don’t try and tell me that liquor affects cognition, you no-drinkin’ squares.

In that spirit (get it?!), here are eight series that deal with the concept of sobriety; stream them in February while sucking down shaky tumblers of club soda.

Flaked (Seasons 1-2 on Netflix): In underappreciated 2016-17 Netflix series Flaked, allegedly recovering alcoholic and Venice Beach knockabout Chip (Will Arnett) chugs wine from a “kombacha” jug, lies to his AA compatriots, and sleeps with clueless women half his age—but redemption is only a Pavement song away. Bonus: Flaked was apparently filmed entirely through an exquisite sunset Instagram filter.

Mom (Seasons 1-5 on Hulu): As much as TV critics hated Flaked, they love CBS sitcom Mom—probably because of the non-sociopathic characters … so predictable. Despite its hacky laugh-tracked setting, Mom (which stars Anna Faris and Allison Janney as a formerly estranged, newly sober daughter and mother) tackles dark material, addiction and beyond, consistently hilariously. It’s also dirty as fuck.

Loudermilk (Seasons 1-2 on DirecTV Now): Sam Loudermilk (Ron Livingston) is a former alcoholic and, even worse, former rock critic who’s prone to rants against modern culture and rumpled flannel shirts. He also runs a recovery group and lives with two sketchy ex-addicts (Will Sasso and Anja Savcic). Sounds like a downer, but Loudermilk is sneakily funny and smart, with dashes of heart and High Fidelity music nerdiness.

Maron (Seasons 1-4 on Netflix): Speaking of cranky, opinionated Gen-Xers with substance-abuse pasts, here’s Maron. Marc Maron’s 2013-16 series is an exaggerated version of his daily life as a comic, podcaster and sober societal pariah—kind of a West Coast Curb Your Enthusiasm … until the dark fourth and final season, that is, when “Marc” relapses spectacularly. Still, it’s easier to watch in retrospect than Louie.

Recovery Road (Season 1 on Freeform.com and Freeform app): At this point, you may be thinking “What’s with all the olds? Aren’t there any rehab shows about teens?” Here’s one for you, Braxxton: 2016’s Recovery Road, about vodka-swigging high-schooler Maddie (Jessica Sula) being forced to do 90 days in a sober-living facility. Sula is captivating, and Recovery Road’s writing mostly transcends the usual teen-soap angst. Yep, insta-cancelled.

Shameless (Seasons 1-8 on Netflix): In its early seasons, one of the funniest aspects of America’s Greatest TV Family was their comically casual alcoholism. (They’re Irish living on the south side of Chicago; it’s sorta-science.) It catches up to a few members of the Gallagher clan later as they bottom-out and attempt to clean up, making for some heartbreaking drama between the laughs. Shameless USA blows away the UK original—fight me.

Intervention (Seasons 1-10 on Hulu; Seasons 1-19 on AETV.com and A&E app): Sure, it’s exploitative as hell—how else could Intervention last nearly 20 seasons? Families confronting loved ones about their booze and drug problems is a natural fit for reality TV, but Intervention also covers addictions to food, gambling, plastic surgery, sex, video games and even exercise. A&E has an evil knack for producing, ahem, addictive reality shows; Intervention is the best/worst of them all.

Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew (Seasons 1-6 on Amazon and iTunes): At least seven subjects of 2008-12 reality series Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew are no longer abusing alcohol or drugs—because they’re dead, so … success? While Celebrity Rehab’s collective results are a mixed bag, the show did at least provide new insights into the recovery process. On the downside, it also extended the 15 fame minutes of Shifty Shellshock and Crazy Town. For shame, Dr. Drew.

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Somebody must have watched the first season of Will Arnett’s Flaked (Season 2 premiere Friday, June 2; Netflix), right? I mean, I did, but I get paid to watch shows … at least I think I still do. Arnett’s recovering-but-not-really alcoholic Chip wasn’t exactly 2016’s most sympathetic character—a 40-something Venice Beach emotional leech who lied to his friends, sold out his community and routinely slept with women half his age. But! Late in Season 1, a satisfying-ish payoff finally arrived, which might explain why Season 2 is six episodes instead of eight—Netflix’s way of saying, “Get to the damned point,” maybe. Flaked is about Chip’s redemption this time around, and the show is asking for a second chance as well. Plus, it’s all just visually gorgeous; more TV series should be filmed through Instagram filters.

Meanwhile, would you believe that it’s already time for Fear the Walking Dead (Season 3 premiere Sunday, June 4; AMC)? It seems like only yesterday that you were screaming, “I’m so done with The Walking Dead!” at your TV, and here’s another run of the AMC prequel that bears the impossible burden of not being Better Call Saul. Now that Madison, Travis and Alicia have been kicked out of the Hotel Zombiefornia, they’re trying to flee Mexico and cross back onto the U.S.—too bad a band of border patriots are there enforcing anti-immigration policy, as Ofelia has already learned the hard way. The most intriguing new development on FTWD is the addition of Buffy the Vampire Slayer wildcard Emma Caulfield to the cast in a still-mysterious role. As for Nick … yeah, no one cares about Nick.

Speaking of fighting for your life against impossible odds and split ends: I’m Dying Up Here (series debut Sunday, June 4; Showtime), based on William Knoedelseder’s nonfiction book of the same name, dramatizes the struggles of Sunset Strip comedians in the ’70s, bad hair and all. Even though the “it’s a hard-knock life being a comic” trope is everywhere—most recently, and most gently, portrayed in Pete Holmes’ Crashing—the cast of I’m Dying Up Here is impressive: Melissa Leo, Ari Graynor, Michael Angarano, Clark Duke, Andrew Santino, Erik Griffin, R.J. Cyler, Al Madrigal and Jake Lacy, with drop-ins from Jon Daly, Robert Forster, Alfred Molina, Sebastian Stan and others (but not exec producer Jim Carrey). It’s like Boogie Nights, but with dick jokes instead of actual dicks. Ba-dum-bump!

The shoot-first-don’t-bother-with-questions-later action hero ’Merica needs now more than ever returns in Decker: Unsealed (Season 2 premiere Sunday, June 4; Adult Swim), Tim Heidecker’s … tribute? … to Tom Clancy novels, Steven Seagal movies and the comedic power of utterly incompetent production. How incompetent? In last year’s debut TV season, the show was titled Decker: Unclassified; this time, it’s Decker: Unsealed—referring to secret government files, and it means the same damned thing! Anyway: Superspy Jack Decker (Heidecker) and his codebreaker sidekick Jonathan Kington (Gregg Turkington) face new threats national and personal, if not at all logical, with guest appearances from powerhouse Hollywood A-listers like Joey Travolta, Jimmy McNichol and Steve Railsback. What, no Scott Baio?

If you think that sounds stoopid, you’ve obviously never seen Stitchers (Season 3 premiere Monday, June 5; Freeform). Kirsten (Emma Ishta), a ridiculously good-looking 20-something with no discernable personality and “temporal dysplasia” (no sense of time—and no, this condition isn’t real), is recruited by a black-ops government outfit to have her consciousness “stitched” into the quickly-slipping-away minds of the recently dead to help solve crimes, because, science. After an initial season of misplaced grim seriousness, Stitchers lightened up and embraced the dumb, adding Allison Scagliotti (Warehouse 13) for comic relief and dropping hints as to why the Stitcher program even exists (which will finally be revealed this season). If it all sounds similar to the methodology of iZombie, you’re overthinking it.

No one at FX was overthinking the relocation of the late, great Legit to then-baby network FXX a couple of years ago, which essentially killed the potential-laden comedy, helmed by Jim Jefferies. Nevertheless, the Aussie comic persisted with a string of solid stand-up specials that have now led to The Jim Jefferies Show (series debut Tuesday, June 6; Comedy Central). His new not-quite-a-talk-show follows the format adopted by comedians like Chelsea Handler and Iliza Schlesinger, among others: some monologuing, some desk work, some man-on-the-street chatter, and some international flair, broken up with the kind of biting, scorched-earth political and cultural commentary that only Jefferies can deliver. If you think the other late-night hosts have been hard on the Cheeto in Chief, you might want to brace for Hurricane Jim.

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After a fall-winter-spring blur of Too Many Shows, you’re thinking to yourself, “Summer is finally here—I can take a break from TV. Praise the Lord!”

Sorry. Your god has abandoned you: Here are 32 new and returning series you’re going to have to watch this summer, because peak TV knows no season.

In the unexpected return of Flaked (Season 2 premiere; Friday, June 2; Netflix), Chip (Will Arnett) heads back to Venice to rehab his ruined Local Hero status, if not his booze problem. Matters are even more dire for the gang on Fear the Walking Dead (Season 3 premiere; Sunday, June 4; AMC), as vigilante Build the Zombie Wall border patrollers won’t allow them to cross back over from Mexico. It could be worse; they could be struggling comedians in 1970s Hollywood—which is the setting for I’m Dying Up Here (series debut; Sunday, June 4; Showtime).

Tim Heidecker re-ups for more ultra-violent spy action in Decker: Unclassified (Season 2 premiere; Sunday, June 4; Adult Swim), while Aussie comic Jim Jefferies takes another stab at ’Merican TV with late-night talker The Jim Jefferies Show (series debut; Tuesday, June 6; Comedy Central). Latina heroine (?) Teresa (Alice Braga) continues her quest to rule the drug trade in Queen of the South (Season 2 premiere; Thursday, June 8; USA), and the ladies of Litchfield are still doing time in Orange Is the New Black (Season 5 premiere; Friday, June 9; Netflix), hackers be damned.

The ragtag crew of ridiculously good-looking intergalactic criminals remain lost in space in Dark Matter (Season 3 premiere; Friday, June 9; Syfy), and TV’s coolest demon hunter is back and gunning for souls in Wynonna Earp (Season 2 premiere; Friday, June 9; Syfy). Meanwhile, the end is near for the Clone Club in the final run of Orphan Black (Season 5 premiere; Saturday, June 10, BBC America), and even nearer for frenemies Billie and Gene in the two-weekend burn-off of Idiotsitter (Season 2 premiere; Saturday, June 10; Comedy Central).

An all-star cast chews scenery and buffs cuticles in new Florida nail-salon dramedy Claws (series debut; Sunday, June 11; TNT), and primetime goes grindhouse with Blood Drive (series debut; Wednesday, June 14, Syfy), about a cross-country death race where the cars run on—what else?—blood. The Mist (series debut; Thursday, June 22; Spike) rolls out more subtle Stephen King-y scares, and the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling finally get their ’80s-spandexed due in the Alison Brie-led docu-comedy GLOW (series debut; Friday, June 23; Netflix).

Fiddy Cent’s nightclubs ’n’ drugs drama Power (Season 4 premiere; Sunday, June 25; Starz) finds kingpin Ghost (Omari Hardwick) caught in the middle of a, yep, power struggle, while Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy finally hit the road looking for God in Preacher (Season 2 premiere; Sunday, June 25; AMC). Liza (Sutton Foster) deals with the fallout of her bestie Kelsey (Hilary Duff) learning her dark, old secret in Younger (Season 4 premiere; Wednesday, June 28; TV Land), and everybody’s favorite ragtag trio of ridiculously good-looking interplanetary bounty hunters gear up to fight the good-ish fight in Killjoys (Season 3 premiere; Friday, June 30; Syfy).

John Singleton’s Snowfall (series debut; Wednesday, July 5; FX) dramatizes the crack-cocaine epidemic of ’80s Los Angeles, while modernized period piece Will (series debut; Monday, July 10; TNT) juices the legend of a young William Shakespeare as he arrives in the, wait for it, “punk-rock theatre scene of 16th century London.” Back in the present, a pair of college eggheads break it to the White House that an asteroid is six months away from mercifully colliding with Earth in Salvation (series debut; Wednesday, July 12; CBS).

Game of Thrones … yeah, nothing more needs to be said here (Season 7 premiere; Sunday, July 16; HBO). In the final stretch of The Strain (Season 4 premiere; Sunday, July 16; FX), nuclear winter is in full effect; the Strigoi vampires have seized the planet; and our heroes are down for the count—but are they, really? Meanwhile, Ballers (Season 3 premiere; Sunday, July 23; HBO) and Insecure (Season 2 premiere; Sunday, July 23; HBO) are paired up for the most incongruent HBO hour ever, while Midnight, Texas (series debut; Monday, July 24; NBC) takes Charlaine Harris’ supernatural novels for a TV spin.

Would you believe … Sharknado 5 (movie premiere; Sunday, Aug. 6; Syfy)? Marvel’s The Defenders (series debut; Friday, Aug. 18; Netflix) finally brings together Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist for a dysfunctional superhero team-up, while the 21st go-round of South Park (season 21 premiere; Wednesday, Aug. 23; Comedy Central) attempts to find the funny in Trump’s America—if he’s still in office at that point. Fortunately, Abbi and Ilana drop the long-long-long-awaited comeback of Broad City (Season 4 premiere; Wednesday, Aug. 23; Comedy Central), and the new take on The Tick (series debut; Friday, Aug. 25; Amazon Prime) may reunify the country, after all. Spoon!

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The Catch (Thursday, March 24, ABC), series debut: A Shonda Rhimes production is batting cleanup on ABC’s hottest night, which she essentially owns (Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder, Grey’s Anatomy, you know ’em)? Do I even need to continue here? Yes, because The Catch is, and isn’t, typical Shondaland TV. Sure, the cast is beautiful and diverse-ish, but the tone is less life-and-death-and-sex-and-tears, and more comedic caper with lower stakes. (Rich, gorgeous people stealing from other rich, gorgeous people—who to side with?) When a successful Los Angeles private investigator (Mireille Enos, The Killing) is conned out of millions by the man she thought to be her fiancé (Peter Krause, Parenthood), she sets out on a seek-and-destroy mission for payback against the international “Mr. X,” who’s always one step ahead of her, even though his disguise repertoire seems only to consist of Handsome Rogue and Handsome Rogue With Glasses. The Catch is waaay more fun than the rest of TGIT; set up those Pinterest pages now.

Flaked (Streaming, Netflix), new series: In the deluge of Too Much TV, this one slipped by me a couple of weeks ago, in part because Netflix has done little, if any, promotion for Will Arnett’s Flaked. There’s a reason: This eight-episode series about recovering Venice Beach alcoholic Chip (Arnett) goes nowhere even faster (slower?) than Netflix’s previous downbeat dramedy, Love, and contains even fewer laughs. See, drunk-driver Chip killed someone years ago, so now he’s a sad-sack cyclist-about-town who passive-aggressively lords his AA-guru status over everyone and merely “exists” when he’s not banging women half his age. Flaked can be funny, but is more often just “funny,” and only starts revealing semi-interesting plot twists by the time anyone would reasonably be sick of Chip. Arnett nailed the Tortured Manchild/Lovable Loser role far better, and funnier, in his previous Netflix series, the animated BoJack Horseman. Cue that up instead.

Carpool Karaoke (Tuesday, March 29, CBS), special: The only viable counter late-night CBS has to Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show Celebrity Photobomb is James Corden’s Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke … but that doesn’t mean either works outside of Internet or insomniac circles. But, since it’s a filler month, here’s The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special, an exhaustingly titled hour—yes, hour—of Corden’s “greatest hits,” previously aired clips of him driving around with celebs and wailing tunes, because apparently that’s entertainment to CBS’ non-NCIS-geezer audience. But! It’s not all dusty content you can already view at your leisure on YouTube instead of watching live TV like a damned caveman—there’s a new segment with Jennifer Lopez! Which you’ll be able to see tomorrow on YouTube.

The Path (Wednesday, March 30, Hulu), series debut: Hulu’s recent 11.22.63 wasn’t quite the prestige-drama breakthrough they were hoping for (no one wants to watch James Franco time-travel unless he’s doing it with Seth Rogen, OK?), but The Path should get the streamer back on track. Set inside an upstate New York religious-movement-but-really-cult, this 10-episode series features a heavy-hitter cast (including Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul, True Detective’s Michelle Monaghan, Hannibal’s Hugh Dancy and Son of Anarchy’s Rockmond Dunbar), and the showrunner team behind Parenthood (which was a more intricate drama than it gets credit for), so expectations are high—and The Path delivers. Married cult couple Eddie (Paul) and Sarah (Monaghan) are at different levels of losing their religion; interim leader Cal (Dancy) is all-in and increasingly power-drunk; and an FBI agent (Dunbar) is thisclose to bringing it all down. Bottom line: If The Path were on HBO or FX, you wouldn’t be able to escape the hype.

Lopez (Wednesday, March 30, TV Land), series debut: This is the fourth TV series to sport the name Lopez or George, following George Lopez (ABC, 2002-07), Lopez Tonight (TBS, 2009-11), and Saint George (FX, 2014), but Lopez is the first to forgo the laugh track, either authentic (the first two were shot in front of live audiences) or canned (the last was so radioactively awful, no humans were allowed within 10 miles of the studio). It’s also another in the growing line of day-in-the-comic’s-life half-hours that trace back to Curb Your Enthusiasm, à la Louie, Maron and The Jim Gaffigan Show (let’s pretend Rob Schneider’s Real Rob never happened), and the “real” touch suits Lopez perhaps better than any of his previous series. Another TV Land score … this is getting weird.

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