CVIndependent

Wed09182019

Last updateTue, 18 Sep 2018 1pm

On this week's minty-fresh weekly Independent comics page: The K Chronicles finds similarities between Donald Trump and the Grateful Dead; This Modern World ponders Nancy Pelosi's political game of chess; Jen Sorensen wonders how Twitter would have handled past historic moments; Apoca Clips listens as Li'l Trumpy spews racism regarding female members of Congress; and Red Meat teaches a valuable lesson.

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I’m a straight cis woman in my early 40s and a single mother. I have not dated or hooked up with anyone in years. While I miss dating, the biggest issue right now is that my sex drive is off the charts. While watching porn and masturbating once my child goes to sleep helps, I really want to get well and truly fucked by a guy who knows what he’s doing.

I could likely go to a bar or on Tinder and find a man for a one-night stand, but I’m hesitant to do that. To add to my complicated backstory, I have a history of childhood sexual abuse and have had only two partners in my whole life, one of whom was abusive. My past sexual forays have not been particularly satisfying, in part due to my lack of experience and comfort indicating what I do/do not like, as well as some dissociation during the actual act. I keep thinking it would be easier to find a sex worker to “scratch the itch,” as presumably, a male sex worker would be more open, sex-positive and skilled. But I have no idea how I might go about it or what the procedure or etiquette is, and I am fearful that I could get arrested, given the illegality of soliciting in my conservative Southern state. Getting in trouble could have devastating effects on my life, and I would definitely lose my job. I am trying to weigh the pros and cons, but I feel out of my depth.

Any advice for a gal who wants to get fucked but is not sure how to make that happen in a safe-ish space?

Single Mom Absolutely Stupid Horny

“In the recent past, the answer would have been ‘Google,’” said John Oh, a Sydney-based male sex worker for women. “But in a post-SESTA/FOSTA world, that route is now unreliable—especially in the United States, where advertising on the web is far more difficult.”

SESTA/FOSTA—the “Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act/Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act”—is a 2018 law that was crafted, backers said (backers lied), to fight sex trafficking. It made it a crime for web platforms to knowingly or unknowingly allow someone to post a sex ad. The law is so vague that platforms like Craigslist, Tumblr and Facebook purged sexually explicit content in an effort to prevent sex workers from basically being online at all. SESTA/FOSTA’s backers claim they want to protect women—and only women—but in reality, pushing sex workers out of online spaces (where they could more effectively screen clients, share safety tips with each other and organize politically) made sex work more dangerous, not less, and has led to more sex trafficking, not less.

But one platform—one pilloried but still popular platform—is bucking the anti-sex-worker/anti-sexually-explicit-content trend.

“Twitter is still a (mostly) safe place for sex workers, and I have not heard of law enforcement using it to entrap potential clients,” said John. “So I believe that it is a reasonably safe place to anonymously research male sex workers. Many of us advertise there.”

Since no one knows how long Twitter will allow sex workers to use its platform, you might want to get started on that search now, SMASH. And while sex work is work, and it’s work many people freely choose to do, not everyone is good at their job. Since your experiences with unpaid sex weren’t that great, I asked John for some tips on increasing your odds of finding a skilled male sex worker.

“Sadly, in places where sex work is criminalized, it’s harder to find a suitable male sex worker,” said John, “especially for someone who needs extra special care due to trauma. I expect that for SMASH, traveling to a place where sex work is not criminalized would not be practical, but that might be an option for others.”

If traveling to Australia, where John lives and where he’s been doing sex work for nine years (legally, as sex work is decriminalized in his state of New South Wales, and legalized in much of the rest of Australia), is unrealistic, John suggests chatting with sex workers in your area—but not, at least at first, the male ones.

“Her best option may be to talk to female sex workers on Twitter and ask them for a recommendation,” said John. “This has two benefits—the first is that female workers in her general area will have local knowledge. The second is that female workers are generally very careful about endorsing male workers. So if a few female workers suggest a male sex worker, there is a high likelihood that he will be safe, capable and professional. But if SMASH goes this route, tipping the female workers who help her out would be polite—otherwise, this would amount to asking for unpaid labor.”

You can find John Oh on Twitter @JohnOhOfSydney.


An older guy at my gym tentatively inquired if he could ask me an “inappropriate question.” I told him he could. I’m straight; he’s pretty obviously gay; and I figured he was going to hit on me. Then he said the question was “sexual in nature” and asked if I was sure it was OK. I said yes. He asked if he could buy the shoes I wear to the gym once they’re worn out.

I know why someone would want my old shoes—he’s obviously masturbating with them—and that’s fine; everyone’s got their weird thing (myself included). Two quick questions: Isn’t what he did risky? (I could easily see some other guy reacting badly.) And how much should I charge?

Smelling Nikes Entertains A Kinky Senior

It was definitely a risky ask, SNEAKS, but you’re probably not the first guy he’s approached. I imagine he has a hard-earned feel for who’s likely to react positively and who’s not (and a few canceled gym memberships along the way to show for it). And I’d say $20 would be fair. It’s not the full cost of replacing the shoes—he’s a shoe perv, not a fin sub—but it’s enough to be worth your while, and it reflects the value of your old shoes. Not on the open market, but to him.


A straight couple I know that “dabbles” in kink recently visited a famous leather/fetish/bondage store with deep ties to San Francisco’s gay community. (Mr. S Leather, not that it’s important.) They purchased some simple bondage implements that they could just have easily ordered online from any number of stores that aren’t institutions in the gay BDSM subculture.

I don’t think straight people should be barging into spaces that aren’t theirs to purchase items that were not created for them. I am not gay myself, but I try to be a good ally, and part of being a good ally is holding other straight people accountable.

Respect Queer Space

You’ve got to be kidding me with this shit, RQS. Donald Trump banned trans people from the military; the Trump administration has made it legal for doctors and EMTs to refuse to treat queer people; they’re allowing federally funded adoption agencies to discriminate against same-sex couples; and they just shut down promising research into a cure for HIV (much to the delight of religious conservatives, who have always and still want us dead). And heaping insult on injury, RQS, Donald Fucking Trump “celebrated” Pride Month with a tweet—and you’re not only worried about a straight couple buying a little gear in a gay leather/fetish/bondage shop, but you’re coming to me with this shit expecting praise?

If a couple of straight people wandering into a gay-owned business that’s legally obligated not to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation—a law that protects queer people, too—is what you’re wasting your time on right now, RQS, with everything that’s going on, you’re a shit ally and a worse human being. Just to make sure it was OK with Mr. S, I shared your letter with general manager Jonathan Schroder, who said: “We are owned by gay men and very explicitly market to gay men. But everyone is welcome here. We’re happy there are straight people who feel comfortable shopping here.”

On the Lovecast, Mistress Matisse commands you to listen to the S&M show: savagelovecast.com.

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.; @fakedansavage on Twitter; ITMFA.org.

Published in Savage Love

On this week's royal family-approved weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorensen dreams of an alternate form of Twitter; (Th)ink wants a boycott of Linda Fairstein; This Modern World ponders the aftermath of Robert Mueller's announcement; Red Meat quizzes an injured friend; and Apoca Clips listens in as Li'l Trumpy whines about the USS John McCain.

Published in Comics

I got drunk recently and read all (as of then) 2,735 tweets that Donald Trump has written since the election, in the hopes that Trump’s Twitter feed—collected and searchable on trumptwitterarchive.com—might be a good way to get a sense of the horrors we’ve endured.

Looking at the tweets was like reliving all of the unbelievable moments since the 2016 election in fast motion. It’s important not to forget that we used to not have to deal with the dread of waking up each morning to realize that Donald Trump is president, and scramble madly to check Twitter to make sure we’re not at war. A year ago, all of this was new to us.

So here are 10 of Trump’s tweets, in chronological order, that capture something about the authoritarian nature of this presidency, or the insanity of our social media moment. I left off some obvious favorites (covfefe!) and tended to favor some earlier ones that prefigured later themes. They’re presented here verbatim, with no editing.

1. Nov 10, 2016 09:19:44 PM: Just had a very open and successful presidential election. Now professional protesters, incited by the media, are protesting. Very unfair

Even though it is from the period between the election and Inauguration Day, this tweet is in many ways the most representative tweet of the Trump presidency. It is only Trump’s fourth post-election tweet, but it captures the spirit of his feed: validate Trump + attack enemies + attack media = complain about affront to Trump.

2. Nov 19, 2016 08:56:30 AM: The Theater must always be a safe and special place.The cast of Hamilton was very rude last night to a very good man, Mike Pence. Apologize!

This tweet is about the VP-elect’s attendance of the hit play Hamilton, whose cast ended the performance with a short speech expressing the concern we all felt in those uncertain days while hoping “this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us.”

But Trump took this as an opportunity to remind us of the depths of his cynicism when he demanded a safe space for a powerful white man. Brandon Victor Dixon, who gave the speech, is black, and Trump has made a habit of demanding apologies from black people.

This tweet barely made the list, just edging out Trump’s claim, also in November, that “Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag - if they do, there must be consequences - perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!” Both introduce autocratic themes we’ve seen develop over the year.

3. Feb 2, 2017 06:13:13 AM: If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view - NO FEDERAL FUNDS?

Here, the president threatens the funds of a major university in order to support Milo Yiannopoulos, the right-wing troll who had white supremacists line-edit his ghostwritten Breitbart stories, when his speech at Berkeley was being protested. Milo worked for Steve Bannon, who worked for Trump.

4. Feb 17, 2017 04:32:29 PM: The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @CNN, @NBCNews and many more) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American people. SICK!

This is at the top of the list of authoritarian tweets. It’s got it all.

5. Apr 11, 2017 07:03:43 AM: North Korea is looking for trouble. If China decides to help, that would be great. If not, we will solve the problem without them! U.S.A.

Foreign policy by tweet. This led to all of the little Rocketman stuff that almost started a nuclear war and ruined a perfectly good Elton John song.

6. Apr 23, 2017 10:44:59 AM: Eventually, but at a later date so we can get started early, Mexico will be paying, in some form, for the badly needed border wall.

Walking back an impossible promise while making it look like you’re delivering—this is exactly how Trump ran (runs?) his businesses.

7. June 16, 2017 08:07:55 AM: I am being investigated for firing the FBI Director by the man who told me to fire the FBI Director! Witch Hunt

This reminds me of a line from an Oedipus play. Read it again with that in mind. Tragic.

8. Sep 30, 2017 06:26:16 AM: ...Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help. They……

Sep 30, 2017 06:29:47 AM: want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort. 10,000 Federal workers now on Island doing a fantastic job.

OK, this is two tweets. But he’s attacking the mayor of a devastated city and using racist stereotypes all in one. (He seemingly practiced for this after the London terrorist attack.)

9. Nov 29, 2017 07:16:21 AM: Wow, Matt Lauer was just fired from NBC for “inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace.” But when will the top executives at NBC & Comcast be fired for putting out so much Fake News. Check out Andy Lack’s past!

The complete cynicism of the entire administration becomes painfully clear here. Remember how tough Lauer was on Clinton as he bro-ed it up with Trump during the election? And remember the 16 allegations of sexual harassment against Trump? Yeah. He still went there.

10. Dec 2, 2017 12:14:13 PM: I had to fire General Flynn because he lied to the Vice President and the FBI. He has pled guilty to those lies. It is a shame because his actions during the transition were lawful. There was nothing to hide!*

This one has an asterisk beside it because when it seemed like it could be an admission that Trump obstructed justice in the investigation of Flynn, Trump lawyer John Dowd claimed that he actually wrote the tweet.

Bonus retweet: I couldn’t not include this, because it’s Trump retweeting Laura Ingraham responding to a story I wrote:

The New York Times opinion page tweeted: Nov 20, 2017 9:38 PM: Charles Manson wasn't the inevitable outgrowth of the Sixties. If anything, he was a harbinger of today's far right.

Ingraham quoted that and wrote: Nov 21, 2017 8:37 PML “Far right”? You mean “right so far,” as in @realDonaldTrump has been right so far abt how to kick the economy into high gear.

And Trump retweeted it, somehow both proving my point and completing the circle of my year.

Baynard Woods is a reporter for the Real News Network and the founder of Democracy in Crisis, a project of alternative newspapers across the country. Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Twitter: @baynardwoods.

Published in National/International

On this week's Pride-tinged weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorenson looks at our sexual-harassment culture; The K Chronicles gets awkward with pumpkin spice; This Modern World fears that everything is terrible; Red Meat finds a way to keep meal costs down; and Apoca Clips uses the Zoltweet 2000.

Published in Comics

On this week's not-wearing-white weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorenson goes around the world for reactions to the EpiPen price-gouging scandal; The K Chronicles wonders what is in store for rapist Brock Turner's post-prison life; This Modern World examines the 21st century news cycle; and Red Meat has an awkward conversation with God.

Published in Comics

On this week's unseasonably warm Independent comics page: This Modern World has just one regret; Jen Sorenson finds business as usual in the new normal; The K Chronicles takes a look at Team Trump; and Red Meat gets a response from God Himself.

Published in Comics

After hearing the lamentable Rush Limbaugh refer to the “chickification of America,” because NFL football players wore pink to support breast cancer research (men have breasts too, you know, and also get cancer), I was fuming and determined to write about my anger and frustration.

In spite of that initial impulse, here’s what I’m NOT writing about today:

October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month. As someone who was once in an abusive relationship (and if it could happen to me, it can happen to anyone, men included), I’m NOT writing about how important it is that society recognize the reality of how difficult it is to leave and to stay alive. I’m NOT writing about how 44 percent of all women murdered with guns in the U.S. are killed by a current or former intimate partner

More than 135,000 women became extremely poor in 2012—not just poor, but “extremely” poor—and people 65 and older are now more vulnerable to poverty, up significantly from 2011. Although my big fear is to end up eating cat food, I’m NOT writing about why women haven’t demanded compensatory Social Security for those whose “job” is to be a homemaker and mother, so they can survive old age.  Nor am I writing about the growing economic disparity between those at the very top and everyone else, and its disproportionate impact on women.

• The United States is among only eight nations in the world who don’t give women paid maternity leave—it’s often unpaid if you get it at all without jeopardizing your job—and our need for universally available and affordable day care is an embarrassment among nations. But I’m NOT writing about how this affects women’s ability to hold gainful employment or complete their education and thus be economically independent. 

• Women are not present at all on the boards of major corporations. Twitter has a seven-man board with no women; 36 percent of the 2,770 largest public companies have no women on their boards; and companies with women on their boards have better overall economic results. Yet I’m NOT writing about why women aren’t controlling and influencing all investment decisions based on this regrettable fact—although if we could get rid of apartheid, we should be able to get qualified women on corporate boards.

• While “half of all American children will at some point during their childhood reside in a household that uses food stamps for a period of time,” I am NOT writing about the callousness of those who refuse to make work pay a living wage, or who demand deficit reduction by penalizing the vulnerable with food stamp cuts, or who characterize those who need assistance as lazy and unmotivated “takers,” yet won’t support the education or child care that would allow self-sufficiency. 

• Even as abortion and access to “women’s health services” are increasingly subject to ridiculous and onerous restrictions, I’m NOT writing about the difference it makes who appoints judges to federal courts—although it does.

As a political commentator, it’s enticing to address any of these issues and take both policy and political stands. But I decided to write about something bigger than issues or politics: the need to set an entirely new policy agenda. I believe that women, and men who respect women, are uniquely poised to make that happen.

My experience as a mediator has shown that when two polarized sides of a debate are dug in, there is room to head right down the middle and define a new way of moving forward.

Politicians are staking out ever-more-radical positions for niche constituencies, so I am sending out a clarion call to women of every political stripe: WE can demand a new agenda. 

There are more of us. We live longer. We’re getting more educated. We already do whatever we have to do to take care of ourselves and our children. We make choices—not always good ones—and we live with the consequences. We have a collective voice, and it’s time to be heard.

Get involved. Demand, as a group along with your neighbors, to meet with elected officials at every level, and tell them you expect them to pay attention, or you will organize voters against them. If big business and the wealthy can influence public policy, organized and informed voters as a bloc can have an even greater impact.

We can’t leave it to anyone else. Change takes time. Results won’t come quickly. But we have to be present and involved, invested for the long haul.

Get informed. Educate others. Consider running for office. Vote in EVERY election, no matter how small or local. Contrary to conspiracy theories, votes do count! 

Don’t get suckered in by slick slogans designed to “sell” a candidate with sound bites that don’t really inform.

Visit nonpartisan websites like the League of Women Voters or No Labels. Spend as much time on this as you do playing computer games.

Bottom line: I think it’s time for a women’s strike. 

What if, for just two days, women (and the men who support them) across the country stayed home from work, didn’t cook or clean, didn’t deliver a tray of drinks, didn’t operate the cash register, didn’t re-hang clothes on the racks, didn’t make appointments, didn’t help people fill out forms, didn’t sell anyone’s home or didn’t process a bank deposit. 

What if a few agenda items—paid maternity leave, universal child care, comparable equal pay, a raised minimum wage, and greater representation where decisions are made—were highlighted as SO important they must no longer be ignored?

If all else fails, there’s always the Lysistrata strategy

This is adapted from a speech given to the Sun City, Palm Desert Democratic Club on Oct. 28, 2013.

Published in Know Your Neighbors

On this week's historic yet fragrant Independent comics page: The City tackles news items including Dick Cheney's daughter and the return of the Twinkie; Red Meat stews in its own juices; The K Chronicles urges you to go see a documentary, A Band Called Death; and Jen Sorenson puts ignorant tweets in historical context.

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